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“It is not how to suppress or avoid the emotion that will work but rather accepting it, embrace it and not letting it define you”

Mark Manson

I have been on the NoFap journey for quite a while. The reason I decided to do this was the great benefits shared by many successful fapstronauts: increasing confidence, attractive aura, optimal performance in other fields, better sex exp. I myself was a heavy addict who would fap everyday for a year straight, may be twice or thrice a day if possible. Followed by game addiction, this everyday watching porn seemed a perfect combination for me to fully enjoy my life, or that was what I used to believe. Then game was over, I quitted game for the sheer negativity brought by it. Game was out, so was PMO. Then I got a girlfriend who was very hot and talented, the kind of person I would have never dreamt to have. We did have sexual moments, which were great and made me realize that this was what I should be chasing for, not the instant-gratifying benefit of PMO. Sex is real while PMO is not. During our relationship, I did PMO very little since my desire was always satiated by my gf. Then we broke up and I could no longer satiate my sexual desire. It was when P came back as an old friend, inviting, seducing me to PMO. Indeed, I was completely hooked with it. Recently, I have decided to stop PMO and to commit to change the bad habits from my life because I want to show to my gf that leaving me was her worst choice. I want to be confident, handsome, intellectual, socially attractive. Then I begin to read books that I never had a chance during being a bf. I hit the gym everyday, followed by a good diet for lean bulking. Things seem promising as I progress day by day. But I can not just escape from porn, especially when it comes to the urges. Urges make my performance poor, my eyes sore. I can not seem to work without my dick and brain reminding me to watch P or have a look at some sexy girl pics. Now it has been 8 days in NoFap and I feel like I can no longer go further. I feel like I have to relapse while knowing that relapsing will need to many relapses later on. What can I do now ? What should I do now when literally EVERYTHING is not working to me ?

Who am I, the answer never told.

Dear the ad com, this is my personal statement and it is about my identity.

The matter is that I don’t have a single clue about it. 3 years of in highschool is been solely on late-night gaming with my friends, and the wanting to go abroad finally came to my dizzy, sleep-deprived head in my senior. When I am asked to write about myself, it came as a truck to me. Why ? I don’t know. Maybe a badminton player has been all I’ve been. Or a gamer I guess. About gaming, I soon realize it is purely some superficial stuff and I decided to quit it. It is not the game part that captivates me, although the graphics is kinda crazy, but merely the desire to improve myself, to get better after each match. Right now, I was left writing this statement about myself at the perfect time of me not knowing anything. Crazy huh ? . I just do not know. I have tried everything from samurai to courage and all that stuff does not really seem to fit me, it is just unreal you know. Properly you must be wondering how can I be the good fit for your school. I bet you are just as clueless as I am with my personal statement. Maybe I am, may be I not. But I would like to have a chance for I have nothing to lose right now. Even failure to me is considered some progress, so if you don’t mind giving this guy a chance, I would be happy to take it.

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When it comes to video games, joy is often linked with. Yes, playing games is hella fun to do so considering all the friends you can make, the whole new artificial world where you can live without caring about anyone. I have this on my mind every time when I start playing. But it stops at just that. After a couple of hours dying and respawning all over again, what is thought to bring joy, happiness , connection seems to do the opposite. I start questioning why I play this fucking game when I am filled with anger and anxiety. How much time have I played, no, wasted on this futile piece of crap ? It is not important to me, I soon realize. That the mere joy at the beginning is temporary, tempting just to lure you in, letting you indulge in the whole crappy digital world just to feel shittier after every match. So that is the part with gaming, why gaming to me is wrong on many levels. Also that is why I decide to quit it.

Well ! biết thế nào nhỉ. Mình gặp LOL vào một buổi chiều đẹp trời. LOL mang lại cho mình một cảm giác thích thú của một trò chơi MOBA. Càng chơi, mình càng như bị hút bởi một sức hấp dẫn vô hình. Càng chơi, trình độ mình càng tăng lên, mình cũng vì thế càng say mê nó. Ngày hè mình đã dành cả 8 tiếng ra sức cày cuốc để account mình lên rank. Đêm thì mình thức tới 2 giờ sáng cũng chỉ làm như thế. Và cả hè tiếp theo của mình cũng diễn ra y hệt…